Compassionate awareness

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“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” – Jim Rohn

Everyone has heard at some point the phrase “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” – haven’t you? Motivational speaker Jim Rohn, speaking about the law of averages, introduced this concept that now is noted everywhere.

Today I’d like to talk about this and how those people we choose to spend most of our time with impact our lives. It’s a reflection of what I’ve learned over the years – when I was young I used to choose quantity over quality. I used to be very social and know lots of people. But as I grew older, I leaned that it’s very important to pick well who we surround ourselves with, and started having difficulties finding real connections. Am I the only one?

Our relationships, financials, attitudes, professional success or anything else we want in our life, will tend to be close to the average of these conditions in the closest people we associate with. Why? Well, look around you. Do the conversations you have with those you surround yourself with focus on the present or past? Do they have a forward-looking, positive attitude or a blame and negative vibe? Ask yourself:

  • Are you surrounded by empowering people? Those who no matter what will find the positives and will find a way?
  • Are you surrounded by people that are draining you down? People that exhale negativity, blame and complain?

We should be asking ourselves the two questions above to measure if we are spending the right amount of time with the right people. And it’s not easy. It’s simple, but not easy. Why? Because most times, those people who are draining us down are close friends or family and it’s hard to drawn the line…

Actually, I used to be one of those people. I was disappointed with life and focused on the negatives instead of the positives which made me a “complainer”. That’s not good. It drains people down. I was lucky enough to gain awareness and see it, but hey, I do understand if I scared people off!

When I decided to include mindfulness and meditation into my daily life I was introduced to the two terms of compassion and awareness in order to practice it. It changed my life by giving me inner peace, something I can’t remember when was last time I experienced it.

It’s funny how very recently I came across the concept of compassionate awareness. Having compassion and having awareness and direction are not mutually exclusive. This concept allows me now to take care of myself, to careful think and discern who I surround myself with, even if that means to re-establish my whole circle. I don’t judge, I’m just honest with myself and ask the questions above. I ask myself whether or not the relationships I have in my life are empowering me, are the right support to my purpose and dreams (and even if I don’t have a clear purpose, they help me gain direction).

So next time you are spending time with a friend or family member and leave the catch up feeling exhausted, with low energy levels, try to reflect and answer the questions above. Then, there you have your answer.

I’m not saying you have to cut someone from your life, but draining relationships don’t deserve quality time – at least from my point of view, that doesn’t have to agree with everyone else of course. There are people with whom you can spend five minutes, but not three hours. There are people with whom you can spend three hours, but not two days.

Look after yourself and disassociate from those who drain you down. If you are working on your personal growth and development, focus on people who understand it and empower you.

The greatest gift you could ever give yourself, the wisest investment you could ever make is your own personal development – invest in yourself: improve, grow and be better every day. And choose well who are those people that walk along your side in your journey.

With lots of love,

Laia x

Friday reflections…

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“You can’t change the past. You can change the future. would you rather to be influenced by something you can’t change or by something you can?” Jeff Olsen

I’ve not been writing a lot recently, life can sometimes get on the way! But the positive side is that the last couple of months have been life changing so now I have more to share!

I’m currently reading a book called The Slight Edge by Jeff Olsen. The content is not new for me but it’s great to be reminded of how important are those little things, easy to do (and also easy not to do), that if you consistently do them will drive you to success. At some point during my reading I stopped to reflect and I realised how many things I’ve achieved by consistently working little by little towards something. And suddenly, I’ve just realised that I’ve turned my life towards everything I wanted in 2 years!

How have I done it? I think it has happened by believing it was possible and being truthful to what I wanted, keeping up good habits and consistently working towards my better self. I guess you want to know what has happened? So, in two years I’ve built an amazing relationship with someone that loves and respects me for who I’m, we got married, we are going to be parents, and we are about to buy our first home! Besides that, we both have started our own professional projects and are well on track. How cool is that?!

I know it’s not just a result of two years’ work, but I’ve not seen the results till now and the last two years have been the scenario of all changes. For example, I always wanted to own my own house. But it was impossible for me to see myself with enough savings for the deposit of a house. However, I carried on saving little by little every month and they grew. I also found an amazing life partner when I was 33 – I always wanted someone like him but I wasn’t doing the right “things” to attract someone like him – I first had to work on myself and grow as a person. Now, both of us can see that brilliant future ahead when only two years ago it seemed very far away. That is magic!

Sometimes we oversee great achievements like these. Why? Because we focus on what we don’t have instead of in what we do have. For this reason, last year I started my daily good habits to grow personally and professionally and rise my awareness. Sometimes, it was tough to keep going as I couldn’t see the results straight away, but it’s been worth it every second!

So, this is not a post to show you all how well I’m doing – myself, like everyone, face daily challenges. This is just a reminder of how the simple things you do every day (easy to do and also easy not to do), the things that don’t look like they matter, do matter. And making the choice to do those things, no matter what, is what makes the difference.

Forget luck – you create your own luck! For years I was focusing on awaiting for my good luck to come that I did nothing to create it. And of course nothing happened! Nothing happened till I took the reins of my life and I invested in myself, my life and the direction I wanted it to take.

So, now that my pregnancy sicknesses are starting to improve I hope to be back writing down my daily learnings, experiences and things that motivate me – I’m sure I’ll get lots of them through this new episode in my (our) lives! It’s beautiful and at the same time very scary, so a great opportunity to keep growing and being my better self with whatever challenge is in front of me.

With lots of love,

Laia x

Quote of the day

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If you add a little to a little and do this often, soon the little will become great“. Jeff Olsen

Something I’ve learned lately: Success doesn’t come with luck. It comes with consistent hard work. With consistently doing a little bit every day towards your goals. Do what others aren’t willing to do, leave your comfort zone, grow yourself, and never give up.

With lots of love,

Laia

My daily butterfly affirmations

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Today I was going to write about my new “challenge” of working from home but I came across this wonderful Butterfly Affirmation and decided to change topics.

Positivity is a must for me.

Positive self-talk and thinking is very important to keep a good mindset. Even when knowing this, we sometimes let our thoughts switch our mood, change our attitude, etc. My mum always tells me: “Laia, remember that you are not your thoughts”. So if we are not our thoughts, what are we? Well, this is something many people asks themselves and I think the answer is deep inside. I read somewhere in the Internet: “you are not your thoughts or words; you are the place where your thoughts and words come from. You are the place where this question “who am I?” comes from.” Leaving you here for some self-reflection…

So, our thoughts are not real then – everything going on in my mind (thoughts, feelings, sensations and everything I am aware of) is in fact happening only in my private internal world. What makes a thought feel real is the attention we bring to it. Sometimes, we focus on a thought so much that we make it into a solid thing and relate to it as if it is an event happening in the world somewhere.

What do you think would happen if we monitor our thoughts so we stop our negative ones and we empower our positive ones? When we manage to “re-direct” our thoughts towards a positive path (via meditation, awareness or any other technique), I can assure you your inner world changes. Mine did.

That’s the reason why I always try to check on my positive attitude during the day, do my moment of gratitude in the morning and night, do my positive affirmations every morning – and now, read my butterfly affirmations every day. Today I got this one: Today everything is unfolding perfectly, accordingly to a greater plan. It made my day. Because positivity boosts have the power to keep you on track and happy with your inner self, no matter what happens in the outside.

I know, it’s easier said than done but hey, no one said that it was going to be easy! So just keep trying.

How can we practice positivity and optimism every day? Here’s some ideas:

  • Guiding your energy through positive thinking so you attract positive energy.
  • Connect with yourself on your own way. For me is meditation or through my inner reflections, for example.
  • Practice visualisation. I do this every morning – visualising where you want to be is very powerful. Remember – visualisation is not enough to make things happen though, you then need to take action and the steps towards what you want to achieve.
  • Slow down in order to move forward. Slowing down is a choice that can lead to greater appreciation for life and a greater level of happiness. It’s quite hard in the current western world but just trying it can make a huge change.
  • Read and watch books and movies with inspiring stories. Also, take the time to journal (very good to release stress) and write down your positive affirmations.
  • Be kind to yourself and practice love every day, towards yourself and others.
  • Practice gratitude and focus on the positive.

I encourage you to practice positivity and optimism, to surround yourself of people who empowers you and has plenty of good energy/vibes, to monitor your thoughts to make sure they don’t lead you in the wrong way.

With lots of love,

Laia

Qualities that will make you a winner

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“Opportunities don’t happen. You create them.” – Chris Grosser

When it comes to life (and business) we sometimes don’t understand why some people are successful and others aren’t (we aren’t). We compare, blame, and even associate luck to our success or failures.

For long time I felt that I had lots of thing to offer, a huge potential inside me that I wasn’t using. Therefore, I was feeling unfulfilled. I used to blame others, my past experiences, my bad luck, etc. I was focusing on the negatives instead of the positives – and let me remind you that all experiences have their positives: my past experiences took me where I am today, helped me to grow every day, as a person and as a professional. We ALL have the potential to do whatever we want, this means that we all can make our dreams happen. However, sitting on our couch watching TV is not going to make a shift. We need to take control of our life and take action for it to happen. We need to have a clear WHY, a purpose, that drives us towards our goals. And we need to want to make the change.

We all have what we need to succeed inside. We do have to develop it in order to get there though. We do have to be willing to grow as a person in order to develop ourselves into a winner, in life and business.

Nothing worthwhile is easy – isn’t it? Have you ever wondered what is required to take yourself to the next level? I actually have. And what I realised is that the starting point is making a choice. Success is a choice. Winning is a choice. If you want to separate yourself from the rest, you just have to make choice.

I’m going to share with you three qualities I believe can take you wherever you want to go:

  • Believe: believe in yourself, in what you are doing and why you are doing it. Have a crystal clear WHY and believe that you can do whatever it takes for the right reasons.
  • Commitment: be committed to what you do no matter what. Do what it needs to be done, even when you don’t feel like to. Be discipline with your actions, with your goals, with your MINDSET and ownership, take responsibility. Be committed and discipline in gratitude and practice it every day.
  • Attitude: have an excellent attitude and attract excellent things. Make sure you set your attitude for the day every morning and check on it along the day.

Some more I’ve been taken through recently that I do believe play an important role in our success are:

  • Be passionate and fall in love with what you do every day.
  • Make a difference in other people’s lives.
  • Respect: yourself, those who surround you and what you have in front of you.
  • Practice no matter how good you are at something and put things on perspective.
  • Have the courage to give 100% even when things feel off.
  • Leadership: know your why and empower others, inspire those who surround you.
  • Be focused, take ownership and responsibility – no excuses.
  • Bounce back: be resilient, let things go and move forward.
  • Visualisation: visualise your future before it happens and take action to make it occurs.

I guess we already know most of those things, but sometimes we need to remind ourselves what requires to build the life we truly desire and deserve. Don’t be scared to dream big. Do it and take the required steps to make it happen – take action! Leave your comfort zone and find the way. As the say goes: “when there is a will, there is a way”.

So, what’s your dream? And how are you going to make it a reality?

Treat every single day with gratitude and love!

With lots of love,

Laia