I’m getting married tomorrow. “Are you nervous? Do you still have time to do other stuff than worrying about the wedding?! Are you excited?”. These are some of the frequent questions I’ve heard for the last two weeks, by text or in person, from my family and closest friends. My response: “I’m not nervous. I’m excited. Yes – I do have time to do lots of other stuff besides wedding stuff”. Why do I say this? Because it seems that it’s not normal to be calm and content before your wedding so you can enjoy it. Actually, the good news is that you can! (Although I guess that tomorrow I’ll get a little bit of stomach ticking…)
Well, I might be the exception to the rule, but I’m happy, calm, relaxed, not nervous at all, and I’ve highly enjoyed organising it since Lucas and I decided that we were only going to do a very simple and casual wedding. Most arguments finished when we decided to have an unpretentious wedding. Before that -when in my head I had this idea of a big Spanish princess wedding with lots of family and friends- the wedding was going to be trouble. We had arguments since day one because we couldn’t agree on the basics. We just wanted different things. I wanted my princess wedding and Lucas wanted a very casual one. When we decided to make it simple (overcoming all my resistance) and mirror who we are, not what’s expected from us, it was different. Actually, it’s been the easiest event I’ve ever organised in my career in events management and marketing! Can you believe it?!
Why I’m telling you this? Because of the internal shift that had to happen for me to see this and feel this way. The swing towards what’s important and what’s not… While initially my focus was others and what was culturally and socially correct, now my priority is us. When the focus shifted to us, what we really wanted and what was important for US, it was easy! I just didn’t want to spend a full year of preparation having lots of arguments because we couldn’t agree on the basics. Not to mention the high cost that a traditional wedding was going to have. It wasn’t going to work.
You might wonder how I did the shift. Well, as most important things in life, I had a ‘wake-up call’ through couple of very close family members getting very sick. Suddenly, my perspective changed. My priorities changed. Not only personally, also professionally. I started asking myself questions such as:
- What’s important for me?
- Am I following my heart of what’s been taught to me?
- How am I living my life? Am I making the right choices?
- Are my decisions worth the sacrifices involved?
- What’s more important: getting good money in a stressful job that doesn’t full fill you or seeking something else that gives you purpose (even if the money isn’t good to start with)?
- Who am I surrounded with? Are they positive or negative influence for me?
- What are those things I really want to invest my time with?
- Who are those people that empower me to move forward and upwards in my journey?
And so on. Because our daily choices (the small ones) determine the life we have and our success. So, through being aware and conscious of how I want to live, everything started falling into place. My partner (husband to be soon) was so good and helped a lot when initially I was stressed and with no energy due to my work and sadness for my family not being able to make it here for the big day – he kicked off all the planning. Then, slowly, I started getting more involved and loved jumping fully on board. Now, one day to go and we only need to sort couple of small things that always happen the day before which means that I can relax, feel content and do lots of other stuff. I feel proud of myself and proud of us as a couple for not letting the stress to get me/us.
Proud of myself because I managed to overcome the barrier of what’s socially acceptable and organise a low cost wedding, casual and lovely with those people who matter to us so we can then travel to Spain and Argentina to celebrate there with our wider family.
Proud of us because we have handled it pretty well – at least if I compare it with other people who tell me that they spent the full year of preparation arguing for wedding stuff. Also, because during the last few weeks we have had people visiting us before the wedding; we have been sorting lots of wedding stuff; Lucas has been working so hard on his business; I’ve also been working on my personal and professional projects. All these things had an impact on us and our relationship with little time left for us. But after all, we are handling it the best we can with contentment.
I just wanted to share this story with you as I believe it’s very important how we manage our emotions and how feel towards things in order to have this sense of contentment in anything we do. Because experience has taught me that being stressed and ‘upset’ constantly for what others do or what you do (but it’s not what you wanted) is not healthy. You need to start by respecting yourself. By being gentle towards your body and soul, your most precious assets. Sometimes we are our worst enemies, or judges – don’t judge yourself (nor others). Always do your best, be impeccable with your words, don’t take anything personally and don’t make assumptions. That’s a great formula to live a life full of love, happiness and contentment.
With lots of love,